Long Awaited
by GwinMeldron
Summary: Lucy finds Tumnus crying in the library.


Lucy quietly made her way out of the ball room and down the corridor. It was Susan's engagement party. Everyone was celebrating her engagement to Danain, a prince from one of the neighboring countries. Lucy was happy for her sister, but she felt sad too. Susan would be leaving with Danain after they were married...leaving Narnia to her siblings, and leaving Lucy alone.

Lucy came upon the library and opened the door, stepping inside the dark room. She sighed softly, her hand on the wooden door, fingers spread out. She jumped when she heard a quiet sound. Making her way around the many shelves of books, Lucy saw her beloved friend Tumnus slumped in a chair and crying softly. Lucy watched in despair as his body shook slightly. He had his elbow's on his knees and his head buried in his hands. Lucy went to his side, her slippered feet making little sound on the hard floor. Placing her small, soft hand on Tumnus's bare shoulder. His head flew up when he felt her hand and he started to stutter.

"I-I-I didn't realize you were here. I'm sorry your Magisty. I'll leave." Tumnus stood, he hooves scrabbling on the floor as he tried to get around Lucy.

Reaching out, young woman grabbed his arm and said, "Please don't go. Stay and tell me what's wrong." Tumnus shook his head, tears still dripping down his cheeks.

Quietly he said, "I can't. I just..I can't." Lucy let go of Tumnus's arm and crossed hers over her chest. Tumnus's hairy arm brushed against Lucy's shoulder but she didn't look at him as he left. Instead, she gazed down at his now empty chair. She bit her lip in concern, wondering what had her friend crying so. Sitting down, Lucy leaned her head against the back of the chair and closed her eyes.

The next day, Lucy saw Tumnus standing in one of the many halls. With her eyes on him she started to walk up to him but he anticipated her move and hurried away, not once looking back at Lucy. Lucy stopped mid-step, and looked around the room in confusion. She saw her brother Edmund watching her and she want to him and said, "I don't know what's wrong with him. He won't talk to me."

Edmund looked down at his sister with an amused look on his face. "I think you should go talk to him. And not as his Queen..." Lucy nodded. Edmund, although her brother goofed around a lot, he had moments when he could make perfect sense without even finishing a sentence.

Lucy left her brother and headed in the direction that Tumnus had left in. After asking a panther named Harne she found Tumnus had gone to his room. Knocking softly on the door, Lucy waited for a reply. None came. She knocked again, a bit harder, and this time she heard Tumnus's muffled reply. "Come in." He called. Opening the door, Lucy stepped inside the brightly lit room. The curtains were pulled back, allowing the sun to shine in. Luce had never been in Tumnus's room before and she was curious to see what it was like. It was large, practically the same size as Lucy's, it had tall windows and one thing Lucy noticed was the lack of mirrors. Tumnus was sitting in a chair, facing one of the windows, his back to her.

"Tumnus, is everything all right?" She asked as she stood by the door. Tumnus didn't reply but Lucy could see his head tilt slightly downward.

Lucy thought she might change the subject briefly. "Why are there no mirrors in here?" She asked.

"Because I don't like to look at myself." Tumnus's voice was filled with sorrow as he spoke, he sounded as if he was carrying a heavy burden.

"Why ever not?" Lucy asked.

"Because-because I'm not like Edmund."

Lucy was confused. "Why would you want to be like Edmund?"

Tumnus shook his head. "No, I mean, I want to be...like you."

Lucy nodded, understanding now. "You mean you want to be human."

Tumnus sighed. "Yes."

"But why?"

"Because I'm not good enough..."

Lucy went up behind him and laid her hand on the back of his chair. "Good enough for what?"

Tumnus turned slightly so he could look Lucy in the eye. "For you." He said.

Lucy's brow crinkled in confusion.

Tumnus looked away from Lucy and leaned forward in his chair. "I need to tell you something."

Lucy maneuvered her body around the chair and kneeled down on the ground so that she could look up into his face. "What is it Tumnus?" Lucy rested her hand on Tumnus's knee, feeling his soft fur beneath her voice came out in but a whisper, as if he was afraid to speak. "I love you." As soft as the wind through ones hair. As gentle as the lull of the waves on the beach. Three words. Three simple words followed by silence, beautiful, peaceful silence as Lucy looked up at Tumnus, not sure what to say. The look on her face must have been one of shock, or disgust because Tumnus jumped out of his chair, knocking Lucy on the shoulder as he did. She stood up too and watched him as he paced fretfully in front of her.

"I am sorry your Majesty. I have been a complete fool."

Lucy cut in. "No, you haven't!"

Tumnus looked up at her, pain written on his face. "I should never had said it. I am sorry I have caused you so much grief. I do apologize your Majesty."

Lucy hurried to him and took his hand in hers. "You have caused me no grief in saying that. Tumnus, please call me by my name." Amid all that had just happened, Lucy was insisting Tumnus call her by her name? Lucy had to groan inwardly at herself.

"I'm not good enough for you Lucy."

"Oh but Tumnus you are." Lucy felt a sudden burst of emotion toward Tumnus, one she had tried to keep hidden, to push away. She had never thought that Tumnus ever looked at her as more than a friend. Tumnus gazed down at the intertwined hands. "I'm a fawn. Lucy, I'm not human, I never will be. I'm not good enough."

Lucy sighed. "Tumnus, when I look at you do you think I see nothing but your hooves?" The faun trembled slightly. Lucy took a step closer. She could feel his warm breathe on her face as he exhaled slowly. "Lucy don't. We shouldn't be doing this."

"Why not?"

"Because your a Queen."

"Yes, but I have feelings just like everybody else."

Tumnus stared down at her. "Feelings?" He questioned.

Lucy nodded. "Tumnus, I can't even begin to explain how long I have waited for you to say something. I have waited desperately for a little show of affection or something. I always thought I was just a little child to you."

Tumnus placed his hand on the back of Lucy's neck. "Never." He said, his voice low. Lucy reached up and wiped the tears from Tumnus's face. He caught her hand in his, held it against his cheek for a minute before kissing her fingertips and letting her hand go. Lucy took another step close, closing the space between them. Lucy's heart was pounding against her chest, one hand on Tumnus's shoulder, the other caught in his big hand. Standing on tiptoes, Lucy kissed Tumnus on the corner of his mouth, shyly at first, but then Tumnus leaned down and kissed her passionately.

Once they pulled away, Lucy said, "I love you Tumnus. My dear fawn."

Tumnus smiled happily. "I have waited for this day for a long time. I love you too Lucy."


End file.
